If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
tonight lets celebrate not being married
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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