we're blogging at a bar
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize