I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
