He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Randomize
