i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
