even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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