I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
