i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
