Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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