he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
