U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
