playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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