I seem to have left my pride at pride
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I think your dad took our porno
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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