I must be too annoying 4 u.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
