I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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