Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
