His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my being single is dangerous.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
