your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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