i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
