Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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