A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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