He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
