I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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