Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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