Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Jerry, you need to find god
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The best revenge is premature balding
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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