Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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