I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
