Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize