would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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