my mouth tastes like poor choices
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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