She's JV to your varsity
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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