you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
