That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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