You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
