his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My life is pants optional.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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