All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
