Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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