I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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