she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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