Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize