Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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