Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I think my vagina is haunted
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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