New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
