grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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