Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize
