there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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