would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
