I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
