I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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