fuck your aforementioned shoe
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize