Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
