A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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