While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
