Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
