So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
