u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
