She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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