i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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