Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
