Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
