When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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