found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
